Thank you Alice. I have been trying to see why my oldest daughter can't find her way to be strong and assertive with these doctors. I finally came out and asked her just recently why she doesnt just jump in like my sister does with our mom. She said she cant. Thats not her. She is so so strong in the work place. Both of my girls are. They have very powerful jobs. My youngest who is so fightened I may die leading her to be in massive denial had to work the weekend for her job at Rockwell International regarding problems with the Tsunami. How can I harness that strenght? I have tried so many ways.

They are young enough that they for to long yielded to the science of the doctors who wanted a black and white test. Tho after my crisis they did the research and expected the docs would have me for a thymectomy and I'd be myself. When things dragged on and I was left with only mestinon and so so disabled it didnt make sense. To them being sure equals action and if the docs werent doing this stuff then something was hinky so their doubts came on. They still have too much blind respect for any doctor. My oldest has actually shushed me in the doctors office when I try to straighten something out!

Their kids are so young and they both have consuming jobs. Neither has the time to really focus on what is going on totally as it is so multi-facted at this point with MG symptoms and myositis and my eyes that are affected by both in my mind and in the symptoms I see and experience. It is hard for my to just figure out and report on much less for them to take in.

My day dream is that all that vit D mega doses would heal the myositis and get me in better shape somewhat and enough to have some quality of life back. But now I think the myositis is beyond that. There are only 3 rheumies here in my town. One sees no new patients. The out of the other 2 one I saw years ago. He was not very good as I noted here once. I found reviews on him that said things far worse than my thoguht. The remaining one I actually asked my family if he could get me into him in our last talk by phone on the myositis issue. He said no he was too busy. Nice huh! But he is a big university man as he graduated there. He treats me minimally and has all the doubt stuff on anything complex. He has this thing he says now when I bring up something that I know is a hard one like the myositis he says "well I have over 3000 patients and I have never seen it...."

Annie59