Hi Ali,

I am mom struggling through this as well. My children are 12, 8 and 5. It's been about 18 months since my injury. I've had to change so much. I'm only starting to be able to stand being in group/social settings (even so, I still use earplugs a lot), so other than at home I just haven't been able to go to their events and they've had to miss a lot as well. I pulled them out of a lot of their activities because I couldn't handle things. I know it's been hard on them but they've been surprisingly resilient and even learned to be a bit more responsible because I haven't been able to do as much.

During this recovery period my house has never been messier and dustier. I've learned to let the non-essential things go. It's been hard to me to be around them a lot (because of the noise and commotion), especially the 5 year old who has been exceptionally loud from the day he was born. I try to make up for it with very affectionate and short cuddle times and lots of smiles when I am with them (yes, I do fake it quite a bit). I am very blessed to have a wonderful husband who has held things together and done his responsibilities and many of mine.

For a long time I felt like a crazy woman, It was so hard to control my emotions. It has improved with time but is still a struggle. I've learned to give myself time outs and walk out of a situation before I lose it. My kids understand basically what happened but it is still hard for them. I don't expect them to really understand when most adult aren't able.

I still hope to improve over time but the rate of recovery has slowed quite a bit. I am trying to work with where I am now and not expect myself to be what I was before. Simplify. I am trying to structure things in a way that I can succeed in small ways and keep up with the basic stuff. Letting go of prior expectations has been a huge help, being realistic about what I can handle/do right now, always hoping for more in the future.

I hope this is helpful. This is such a hard thing to deal with, especially when you are worried about the impact it is having on your children. There isn't anything I care more about doing well and it is really hard to be so limited. The good news is that they really are handling it amazingly well, and I know we will all make it through this difficult time. You will too, hang in there!

Best Wishes,

Becca