o2bponca - yes, the relief of finally knowing is INCREDIBLE. i absolutely had given up years ago on ever getting a diagnosis and EVER getting any kind of treatment that could improve my condition. To think there's a chance that i can have a normal life feels like i get to start my life over. that i'll think of these 14 years as my 'dark ages'. i just hope it works out that way.

my two kids have never really met the real me. i want nothing more than to have them see the old me and not the one that is constantly in pain. I'm so afraid that they think of me as a lazy bum. the first thing my son (7) said when i told him they finally figured it out and there's a possibility that i'll be 'fixed' was 'does that mean you'll be able to play catch with me?'. it's so hard for me to not get my hopes up. i think that's the one thing i'm battling right now. trying to be realistic. i've had so many let downs.

anyway, this forum has been great. so much information!!!! and so many good people. now that i know what i have i finally feel like i fit in somewhere. i haven't had that in a really long time.