Thank you Pam.

i think i will need to seriously use the info i had gathered, gather more and go forward.... i see current door closing ... better start knocking on others even if that means fighting a bit less to keep it open. it isn't a situation i can fight much anyway. i think it's personality conflict and he's using performance because that's how he can get me out - if he appealed to personality conflict, they'd laugh at him not fire me, he's known for being erratic and difficult.

he can get away with performance coz no-one is there except me when he contradicts himself, or refuses to answer questions, or wastes my time in pompous digression or... i could go on, thing is, because of being "drizzled" information, and sometimes wrong info, i have to do and redo and redo things and it looks like i am going backwards.

Dear Mari

you have been my guiding light in taking my pills at night. at some point you said to me do me a favor whatever you do take your pills. so, i have been having the thought at night, "Mari said take my pills, i must take pills for Mari" lol so thankyou - you elevated the importance / stickiness for me somehow. or maybe made it into a personal thing... like with a positive emotional charge to it. thank you.

i actually had a couple brief spells during recent times of feeling flat, not med induced, and it was very strange. it was like i was stunned. couldn't connect, couldn't feel much. felt awkward/uncomfortable/shifty - disoriented. i don't know what it is or why it happens.

i might try increasing the depakote to 1150 or 1250.

~ waves ~ sorry if i overwhelmed with postings off to do painter preparedness stuff now