I kinda snapped. Spoke to DH about the need to hire on help to keep meals rotating in this home if I am down, and he is unwilling or unable to get up and figure it out. its like since my dx his own anxiety has skyrocketed and he simply cannot figure out simple things when pushed in a corner. I have always been the "go to" girl, and super organized and prepared. I am the girl you want to look for in a crisis, but now that I myself am in crisis, I guess I expected that he would pick up the torch and carry it for me till I felt better. esp since HE is the one eating those meals! I am not eating much more than broth/jello/pudding at this minute. my tummy is simply broken.

His last statement was that he didnt want some strange woman in our home cooking meals that he may not even like. Thats alot of money to spend for crappy food. I then pointed out that he will eat at the nasty bluebird cafe here in town, but wont trust a woman who does this for a living? anyway, I got upset and dug out the freezer. I have thrown out A LOT of food. stuff that is way past its date, and he got on an impulse buy in the market saying "this would be good!" well, it never got cooked, and we both forgot it. He stacks new meat on top of old meat, so we have been eating the new meat first, instead of rotating stock.

I have declared that this week is strictly a clean out the fridge and feezer kind of week. We shall eat nothing unless it comes out of that freezer. I am dragging out those "it would taste so good" things that were long lost and fixing them. I am clearing out an entire shelf that is going to be devoted to pre prepped foods in a container that is safe to microwave or use in a toaster oven. I will start making meals for 4 instead of 2 and freezing left overs. This way on days that I am down and cant/wont cook he can simply stick his big paw in there, and drag out something quick.

Why is it as women we feel the need to care take even thru our own illness? Can I tell you that my DH used to be an italian chef in his sisters restaurant? Can I tell you that he can cook circles around some of these TV stars? Can I tell you that he is creative and inventive, but give him a sick wife, and he becomes incapacitated! So...looks like I will have to fix this myself. I guess it will do me good to get out of bed. yes?