hi Patti!

I started to reply to you the first day that I read your post but the cyber world ate up my words when I hit some stupid key on this laptop... and being in the clutches of the depression demon, I simply didn't have the energy to re-write or arrange my thoughts again....

saying all this to let you know you are not alone...

and you are definitely NOT judged here! every single one of us has a story to share... and every one of us is helped by reading those stories.... helps us know we are not alone!

I am helped by imagining the scene you have painted... which reminds me of the opportunities I have to find simple pleasures around me - they are as joyful as seeing the first robin of spring!

I am helped by remembering that my attempts to finding a therapist also give me hope (as I see that same hope in your words!).

I agree, with all my being, that it isn't easy being a human... and its so nice to know we're not alone in our pain... or our pleasures!