Krank, Please see a psychologist ASAP. you need someone to talk to about this with who is impartial and non-judgemental. Therapy has helped me so much, just to know that you have that crutch to take on your problems for a while. You and your wife need to take care of yourselves. Krank, you are not alone in what you are feeling or thinking, and it is OK to be down but not to give up. You are a valuable person and are here for a reason. Lisa