Hi there Krank! Guess what - you are not alone. You are not alone in your frustrations, your pain, your feelings of despair. I've been having a very, very rough week. On Tuesday, I underwent another epidural block which didn't help at all. I still can use stim minimal. I hate this crap - the sensations in my chest are pretty bad this week. It is burning and icy cold. My granddaughter stopped in last night - I went to hold her while I was standing up and I couldn't do it. I almost dropped her. I am only 41 yrs old and my life has been stolen from me. I've thought about "checking out", but I can't. I'm too afraid that with my luck it wouldn't work. That I would be even worse off then I am now. This monster went from my right knee and foot region to practically all over after I had my second implant surgery in Dec of 2010. It hurts to type (I used to be an office manager, and typing was my life!), I can't feel with my finger tips. There are days I hate myself, days that I hate happy people, days that I even hate my own family.

But, you know what - I pull up the "ole boot straps" and try to find something positive to focus on. Be it my kids, planning my son's graduation party (or hoping to be able to sit through the graduation ceremony), watching my 16 yr old daughter grow up - helping to guide her through the broken hearts and puppy loves.

I guess what I realized and understand now is that I am not just sitting on the sidelines of life, watching everyone else play, smile, laugh or cry. I am on the sidelines to cheer, to guide, to help and to love.

So, buck up little camper-we are all here for you!!