First off, hello. I'm terribly sorry to hear what you are going through. I can sympathize completely. Reading your story brings me shivers as I recall a time when I was in terrible ruins quite similar to your own.
Just a brief overview of my own experience with PCS. 18 months ago I was in the head with a stick. Initially, I did not pass out, only felt ringing in my ears. I had no history of concussion, despite playing hockey for 15 years (i'm 22 years old). Starting that very night, insomnia ensued which lasted 8 months. I was on heavy sleeping pills that only put me out for 3-4 hours at a time. Throughout my long recovery, I experienced depression for 2 months, severe anxiety, horrible tunnel vision/blurring vision, inflamation in the neck, lack of sex drive, slurred speach, difficulty focusing, and a large sensitivity to light, among a host of other symptoms. Prior to my concussion, much like yourself, I was an upbeat care-free individual that lived his life without any hesitations. I was extremely active. My concussion forced me out of school for a year, which was devistating to me as I was shooting to get the grades to go to law school. It was by far the worst time of my life. I used to play this one depressing song called "Wonderful" on repeat and cry for hours on end. I refused to celebrate my birthday with my family, as the thought of a celebration took the little I had left out of me.
Having said that, 18 months later I now write to you virtually symptom-free. The only symptom I still suffer is some minor vision issues which a recent visit to a vision-therapy center is helping me. I've got my life back. I'm happy again! Some days I feel so happy I literally dance around my room, even though schoolwork is pilling up on me. The only hope I can give you is that I was in the same boat. I didn't believe I would EVER recover, and I feared the brain damage would be permanent. To make matters worse, a visit to my neurologist a year into my PCS, the neuro-doctor told me "you are no longer suffering from PCS. Perhaps it's a migrane issue?" Similar to you, I was unaware that I was even suffering from a concussion until I put it together a month into it. Much like yourself, I drank heavily a few days after the injury, and the next morning I felt what I thought was the WORST hang over I had ever had. I too am very resistant to alcohol and hangovers so it came as no suprise when the PCS explained why I felt that reaction. I also wanted a physical diagnosis more than anything in the world. It is very hard dealing with an injury when you have no idea how long recovery will take (and worrying if you will ever heal).
Concerning your parents, I would explain them as best as possible some of the common symptoms, and hope they take you seriously. I know I was extremely frustrated because everyone THINKS your normal because you "look" normal, extremely frustrating.
As for school, I see the perdiciment you are in. Myself, I was physically unable to function, as well as mentally and emotionally. I needed to take a year off.
When you say, "i'm not searching for pity", I felt the exact same way when I first posted on here. Let me assure you that NONE of us hold it against you, rather encourage you to discuss your issues in hopes that we can offer our experience and assistance. I remember desperately wanting to find people that could relate to what I was going through. The most horrifying part is "not knowing".
I wish you all the best. Coming from a place where I had NO hope, I now write to you today achieving a 3.8 GPA, a feat that I thought impossible a year ago. Never lose hope
