Now I've only read the first page of responses and I can't keep my mouth shut. Do you know how much money you have already saved by letting out your true feelings here, instead of having your wife take you to a psychiatrist. TONS. But the important part of that is no one is wanting you to commit yourself to an institution, because they've all been where you are. I'm not even sure you could find a psychiatrist who could relate to how your feeling as well as these amazing people do. Did you ever notice that 90% of the time every response starts out with, "I'm sorry you are suffering with this."?

Aside from the comfort and consolation offered the wealth of info, experience, and advice is worth at least a diamond mine. If you go up to the Spiritual sanctuary, tenderhearted, full of God's spirit willing to help carry you burden people are just waiting to lift your name before the Throne of God.

No one believed me when I said how much pain I was in. Even my own personal physician who now agrees that I have CRPS in both feet, both ankles, going up my legs. I can't even remember how I got here, but i'm sure the Lord Himself sent me. Not one person here has ever questioned my pain or my rants. I went through a period where I was asking my husband to beg, borrow, or steal a chain saw to cut off my left leg. Ha, little did I know I would also want him to cut the right one off, but that is just about the time I was wandering around here and someone's dr was suggesting amputation. I quickly learned that wasn't the answer, but I also learned what to suggest to my dr or even learned to understand what I would submit to and what I wouldn't.

This place is a gold mine of tried, accepted and rejected, information

But more, much more than that it is a community of folks who know exactly how you feel, and 'this too has passed'. They will hold your hand until you see the light. But you must listen and believe when they say they've been there. And someone who's been there knows that there IS light at the end of the tunnel you are in. And I for one don't want my husband of nearly 43 years telling me I'd be better off without him. I know I wouldn't want to do this without him. I know that now instead of organizing and planning our entertainment/vacations/free time, I need a babysitter to entertain me! Now I know why God has thus far granted me ten of the most marvelous grandchildren in the world who are bothered in the least by the color of my feet, they just want to know if I have any new games to play or are we going to play scrabble. Or can help them make cookies? I don't have to move an inch to be energized more than I could have imagined. My four year old grandson, the last time I was able to sit with him while my daughter slept, was so distraught when said I had to go home, he told me to call G'pa and ask permission to stay over night because he didn't know what he was going to do if I went home. I told him I had to go home to take my medicine, and he said in his four year old smart,quick thinking, "no you don't, we got plenty of pills here!"

Now what would it do to this little guy, let alone all the rest of the nine of them to know that I just couldn't take the pain anymore. That hurts as much or more than the pain. I have a friend whose grandson saw his dad hanging from the rafter in the garage. That precious little soul will never get that pic out of his mind, nor will that man's mother who is struggling to help care for his two children when she gets the opportunity to see them.

It is not the answer Krank, and that is from a cranky old woman who is tired of work comp telling her the auto accident she was in while delivering the mail didn't cause her RSD because her dr isn't wording his letters exactly according to her wishes.

My life is 180 degrees different than Dec '09. But I'm learning that it is still good, and I'm still learning ways to incorporate 'fixes' to help me even more. Yesterday I read on here about a woman whose friend has extensively gerry-rigged her shower so she could wash her hair. What a precious gift. But Krank,we need you 'cause when you get passed this, there is going to be someone behind you who is going to need your hand, or words, or shoulder to lean on to lead the through the tunnel to the light.

Hang in there buddy, there is a crowd around you and we aren't going to let you fall!

We've all been there, and trust me none of us got a Tshirt. A respite or a cure is what we'd prefer.

With prayers for solace for your heart,
pat e