I experienced this same thing last early December. I felt like I hadn't truly been living my life for the past month, but observing it from an out-of-body perspective. I felt this extreme emptiness, but it was not the same that I feel with the depression I have experienced. It was too weird to explain to my friends or parents, so I googled it (of course) to make sure I was not losing my mind. That gave me some relief, but at the time I had no idea that it was even related to my concussion.

Looking back, it was simply the beginning of my relapse. I suffered a concussion in mid-October and my initial symptoms were frequent crying episodes, depression, throbbing or constant headache, etc, but no anxiety. After about a month of basically bed rest, I started attending classes again. It was during final exams and I was probably pushing my brain beyond its limits. During the time, I had no idea what was going on. I didn't want to tell anyone my struggles because I associated depression and derealization with weakness. (wow, what a journey it's been since then). I thought it was all within my control and it was my fault for feeling those things. I simply did my best to ignore it and put on a smile.

After driving home from college 12 hours and being released to run and work out, I completely relapsed. Rock bottom.. couldn't function in society for months. I did find that the derealization went away after a couple weeks after I came home and basically hibernated from society.

For me, the only way I was able to overcome derealization was going home and resting--no activity besides staring at the wall and laying in the dark for the first couple months. I haven't experienced it since December and I've made tons of progress with every symptom since then. Only certain situations trigger my anxiety and I've experienced one panic attack.

I do not know your situation with school/work and if you are able to take some time off, but I hope you can get as much rest in as possible. I had to take this semester off because I literally could not function in society from an emotional aspect. If I could rewind my life 5 months, I would've taken much more time off after my initial concussion and stopped forcing myself back into daily activities. There's no point in rushing back into things if you're struggling to make it through the day- that's no way to live a life!!!

I have never experienced anxiety or depression in my entire life and I'm just now learning to cope/deal with it. It is certainly from my concussion, despite what the gp doctor told me in December (so frustrating!). I was also prescribed to Lexapro, but luckily I found a great sports medicine/concussion specialist doctor who took me off the lexapro and has been a great help.

What I've learned from my experience is if you continue to push your brain beyond its limits while you are experiencing symptoms, they certainly can get worse. A lot worse. I'm not trying to scare you or be harsh, but help you. I really wish I knew all this back then. I know the emotional aspect of PCS can be extremely tough because you have no idea who you are anymore. It is scary, especially when you are being thrown into social settings. But you have to have hope and the sooner you let your brain rest, the quicker you'll recover. I have moments where I feel like myself and it's amazing! Just know that you are not alone in this battle. My prayers and best wishes.

Kelly