rest assured my friend that we undertstand. i know that doesn't help your pain but for what it's worth you're not alone!! keep fighting. that's all we have sometimes and if it gets so bad you can't stand it fight harder. get your pain meds, demand them and don't worry about side affects, long term damage - just get relief. not sure what you're on for pain but demand releif. it's inhuman to suffer so much. we put our pets out of their misery but we humans suffer through misery unjustly. demand meds and take them fearlessly.