Just had another thought, actually remembered something I read when I first was looking into myositis. There was something about a person with polymyositis having affected muscles in the throat spasm. This sounded more like what I was experiencing when in October after pushing to talk when mom fell I ended up with muscles, tissues seeming to lockup in my throat. It was like trying to push words out of hard stiff tissues. The opposite I guess of the feeling of no response when your breathing muscles are so weakened you feel nothing, no response. I could see it in my pulmo the day I saw him that it puzzled him as I had this halting new thing when I talked.

I told the ENT I would make every effort to get the MRI and new swallow study done by end of February but it has been so crazy with other stuff it didnt happen. It is at the top of my list to do but it didnt get done. Just ignoring the usual down time I need and going out 3 times this week since Tuesday has me in big trouble with my breathing today and even my body as a whole. I am as weak as a baby.

Tuesday I went to hospital to get the fluids I really needed cause I was so so strangely dry and weakened and took my vitamin D 50k with it. The Wednesday was the long day to eye doctor I wrote of here that sure was worth it but a big big push. I admit I talked too too much with my daughter in the car. It is hard to not talk when I'm with them. Then Thursday my grandduaghter came for the day and with the apartment news I had to do some calls on new appartment business. Friday I had to go see my pcp for morphine renewal as he refused the day before to talk to me by phone on my stomach pain and morphine issue. It is no wonder I feel like this today. I know better. I got such an initial boost from the IV fluids on Tuesday I guess it gave me a false sense of strength.

I gotta do some brain storming on what needs to take priority while I am getting the rest I need this weekend. I want to go for my fluids Sunday cause I am so dry again but have to weigh that with all else. At this point I am scheduled for the abdominal CT on Tuesday and my eye surgeon Friday to do the lazer surgery on my left eye and measure my right to have the other cataract removed on April 11th. An April 11th surgery is against my rule of nothing the week before family birthdays to be sure I get there. The 16th is my daughters and her 3 year old son. I wasnt thinking obviously when I scheduled that. Or forgot to move it. I am so brain drained and weary. I really need a whole week down to rest.

Annie59