Originally Posted by reverett123

No. Wait. That's the recipe for "Doctor Soup".

But, seriously, I would suggest a second and maybe even a third opinion. The diagnosis may be correct, but any doctor that says "PD. Come back if it gets worse." is dangerous. So, the first step should be to find a doc that feels right to her. It doesn't necessarily have to be a neuro, BTW. A good GP is a much better choice than a bad neuro. I would also suggest that it be a woman if possible. Things are going to be hard enough without adding gender arrogance into it.

Once you are both satisfied with the dx, it is time for you to have a long talk with yourself. Are you man enough to do this? If you knew that she had ten years to live, would you stay? If you have any doubts, you had better go, because she isn't going to die from PD. It is much worse than that. She has no choice, but you can still escape. But even if you run from the burning house into the night, there is something waiting in the dark with your name on it. You can choose your burden by sharing hers. Or you can walk out the door and see what life drops onto you. Those are your only options. "None of the above" is not on the list for any of us.

If you are going to stay, then she should start planning for her future. Medication should buy her five to ten years and those must be made to count. The fact that she has a small business of her own is invaluable. She needs a plan to get as secure as she can. Maybe a partner who gradually assumes the load and pays her a monthly check. If that isn't possible, then she may be able to switch to a service approach such as landscape design that does not require employees and allows her to set her own schedule. Once she is drawing disability (SSDI) she can earn about $700/month without penalty, so that is your target.

SSDI can be a real pain to get approved and then there is a two year wait for Medicare, so you need to plan longterm. Assume that there will be a bankruptcy in there so she should start thinking in terms of asset protection. If she has anything of value, she needs to see a good attorney on this. This needs to be done within a month of dx, just to keep her from putting it off. There are a number of waiting periods to be considered. And if you are going to be her knight in shining armor, go out and get the best life insurance policy you can afford.

When she applies for SSDI, she should not be working. If the business is doing well, it might be wise for you to buy it from her on a monthly payment approach. Once SSDI is secured, she can buy it back from you if that is desirable.

gotta go.more later