Quote:
Originally Posted by linter
Rick: for the three things above, could you give me a brand name to buy and a possible dosage? tia!
i woke up at 4 this morning sobbing and rolled out of bed so as not to wake my girlfriend. it's not rick's posts here that did it to me; instead, it's some of the others by other people in other threads, such despair and agony and the wishing to die. it breaks my heart and scares the crap out of me, thinking of my gf in that situation and of me being in that situation, too.
i once stayed in a very bad marriage for 19 years because we had a child born with a birth defect who needed us.
at least in my current relationship i'm as happy as i can be. i hope it lasts through the trials to come. i pray.
i guess the main reason for the big morning sob is that by posting here i've exposed myself to certain realities that i'd been ignoring ever since the diagnosis. maybe i'd be better off sticking my head back in the sand. at least i'd be happier for a little while. i don't know.
well, that's all i can muster for now. jesus.
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Linter,
I have a two year old son. I sometimes fear for him in that he may have to make some rather upsetting decisions in my future. I sometimes feel guilty for bringing him into this mess. In fact, my PD worsened as a result of my pregnancy, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Can't imagine my life without him. He is not going to have a "normal" childhood by any means because of this, but then again what is normal?
One never knows what will happen, so while I may find my self in that dark place described by Ol'cs, I don't linger. There is too much life to live still. It's normal to have those little reality flashes, just as it to go through periods of denial. Having a disorder like this sucks because there are no magic pills telling you how to live with it. Our loved ones hurt too; they, like you do, want to help or take it away, but our doctors treat our physical symptoms. No one can take away our anger, sadness,pain, or grief, but you have each other, and that it in of itself a gift. Focus on each other, pay heed to the financial stuff...I would in fact try to obtain more insurance, disability, and or long term care coverage some how, and do this before there is a more definitive diagnosis is on file. With everything else that PD may bring, just roll with the punches, and take it day by day, and laugh at it. Don't give it any more power than that; it feeds off stress, don't let your relationship be defined by it.