Just wanted to send a (((Hug)))
I sure understand how you feel about your special dog(s)......

I am unable to be with my horses and it's unfair to them that they aren't getting the attention they deserve....
I will be finding good homes for a couple of them.....
A couple others will probably just grow 'old' with me

But, yeah, there is pain, saddness and guilt (in my case)
I try to hang on to the hope that I'll get better and that I'll someday be able to do some of the things I used to do........but sometimes it's just hard to hang on to that hope......

It is amazing, tho, that our pets can and do love us back! My boxer (Sadie) licks the tears off my cheeks when I have my sad 'moments'......
Then she just puts her head against my shoulder and we kinda just sit there holding each other.
And on a couple of occassions, one of my special horses came over to me as I was sitting on a rock weeping.......he came over and just rested his big ol' muzzle on the top of my head.......oh my Lord was that ever a moment to cherish! It was like magic!

I know your dogs mean alot to you......that is something you can never lose - their love and loyalty!!

Caring
Rae