Nikko...Pter taught us something very important that helped tremendously:

"Our minds are quite manipulative particularly when cultivated by fear. Do not fear your suicidal thoughts. Do not be ashamed of them. Do not let them be a negative aspect of your being. Accept them..and post them here or talk openly about them to friends and family...

A suicidal thought is NOT initiated by the mind as a way to harm the person.
It is initiated by the mind as a misguided attempt to protect the person. By understanding its intent you will be able to redirect it with self esteem and self love in place...fear will not be able to stimulate the negative cascading psysiological affects that make so many of us tire to the point of accepting suicide as the solution."

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Our minds try to trick us into thinking that killing ourselves is a way to end the pain.....we need to be "up for that fight". Hugs