I think its OK to not want to live but not be suicidal. The world can be a cruel place so it is understandable to have these feelings.

My mother used to wish that there was no afterlife so she would not have to continue living. Asked if she believed in hell she replied that she thought Earth was hell.

My only advice is to hang out with people who don't stress you out. People are what make life more enjoyable when times are tough. Be very selective. I guess you are since you found us.