Yesterday I had my boyfriend help me upstairs to the bedroom and I just spent the day in the bedroom by myself, lights off, watched some tv, was able to take my shirt off with no one there and that felt wonderful to not have anything on my back/neck/arms. I really needed that...just some time to really decompress and let everything go. I feel a lot better today and feel committed to moving forward again now. My plan is more solid and I have been running lots of internet searches to see what things might be causing my symptoms. So now I have a list of things that I can bring to my primary care doctor that I can ask to be tested for (even if it just ends up being ruling those things out). I know that I just need to get to the right doctor. I get to the right doctor and I WILL get better.

I am off work now. I can't drive with the vision problems, hallucinations, and pain...and I can't hardly walk at all these days. I wish I had the distraction of work...but I can't even handle doing my cross stitch these days so working is out of the question. I wish I could stitch...that has always been a great stress reliever for me and a godsend when dealing with the CRPS pain in my left ankle. But this all over pain has robbed me of the stitching. I run an online cross stitch board though and I try to live vicariously through those girls. I also spend a lot of time planning a Disney vacation that I am going to take when I get better...it gives me a goal to shoot for and something to look forward to. I do try to call friends...that helps a lot.

Thanks everyone for your suggestions and support. It helps a lot to be able to just let it all out. Between that and my day alone...I feel a lot better. Also helped to have some long talks with my boyfriend about it. We don't talk about my health issues a lot, but he is being really supportive (as is his family) and people keep giving me suggestions about 'similar symptoms that a friend had that ended up being...' It's such a good feeling to know that people care and want to help.

Boyfriend also brought up a good point about the stress thing. I, of course, jumped immediately to the idea of mental stress...but he was saying that maybe it's the physical stress on my body that is more the problem. I never really thought about it like that, so that just gives me something else to work from. I feel like since the doctors don't seem to be offering up suggestions on what might be wrong with me...I might as well start getting those suggestions myself. But...I have to say...if it ends up being one of the things I mentioned at the beginning that was just shrugged off and never tested for...I'm gonna be REALLY annoyed...

Thanks again everyone!