Hi,

Tonight, I realized that for the past two and half weeks Hubby has been feeling that I was blaming him for my colleague's death. Every time I cried hubby took it personally and became agitated and more isloated.
I said, "I don't blame you." I could not get that into his head.

Finally he was in a place in his head where I could use language he uses in math:
I said, "My feelings about John's death are independent from my feelings about you.

He finally got it -- after hours of talking tonight.
I am exhausted. He is relieved and is being nice again.

M.