Quote:
Originally Posted by stevem53
I have realized that I have to stop thinking about what I am going to be like a year from now..5 years from now..etc..I am finally starting to get it through my thick head that it is what it is, and the more space I allow it to rent in my head, the worse my symptoms are going to be
I was doing ok when I got done fishing last December..Then around Xmas we had a snow storm every week for 5 weeks in a row..The weather has been crappy, and has been windy and raining the past two days..So I went from functioning reasonably, to not being able to get out of my own way, and holding on to the furniture and the walls to get around the house, and not wanting to do anything but lay on the couch and sleep all day
I know pd doesn't progress that fast, and that every spring when I get ready to go fishing, as futile as it looks, like I am not going to be able to do it, somehow I manage to get through another season, and last year, I had the best season Ive had since I started fishing part time in 2006
I think I need an attitude adjustment, more than I need a medication adjustment
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for some people hope is a cruel
hope is cruel in the waiting...
hope for a cure, hope to get, be and feel better, hope to regain our lives.
i don't idle, hope for me. i hope for my kids. that my kids remember, see and feel me busy with living, full of love, laughter and hope for a better tomorrow.
you don't need an attitude adjustment, you are golden as you are.
mayhap, we all need to have some grit about us to survive life in general. when you have pd, you have to have enough grit to make it through the really crappy days and see that tomorrow is a brand new day "full of possibility" a chance for a "do over"
the "do over" may be a few days or weeks in coming but that ahhhh that one good day.
my world is spent almost exclusively among "regular people", when i am relatively ok, i tend to do more and make regular people ashamed of their idle complaints or of being just plain lazy. if i wake them to a new or better level of functioning or living, it is worth it, i've had a good day.
life doesn't always go the way you think it should, you can have a very good life regardless of the hand you're given. there is a good life after a not so good diagnosis.
you can take a really hard hit, or several. you may have survived traumatic events or series of events, things that would take anyone down.
there may not be an answer to "why me?" or "why not you?"
ultimately, it's up to you to get back up.
do the best you can as long as you are able to. that's all anyone can or should ask or expect from you.
it's a very fine line to walk when you expect more from yourself than others. it can be even harder to forgive yourself for your own mistakes, real or imagined, although you forgive others easily.
i hope my babble makes some bit of sense, to someone other than me.