We know full well that our loved one has died. Do we recognize that in that death a part of us has died, too?

The part of us that lived in our relationship to that person alive in the world has died.

The part of us that lived in expectation of a future on earth together has died.

The part of us that enjoyed the commonality of shared memories has died.

This is a lot to lose, and perhaps it will be easier to accept the effects of our loved one's dying if we acknowledge the profound event this is in our life, too.

If we cannot let go, then our lives will be burdened with spots of unresolved death, and our whole system poisoned.

But if we can, then in the spaces where those deaths have occurred, new life will spring. "Nature abhors a vaccuum," we have heard many times. Some of the new life may be our new relationship with our lost love. But we have to let go first.

Healing After Loss Martha Whitmore Hickman

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