I'm old too, so I figure that played in my favor. But as we all know having been approved is good, but I still can't walk more than 2 blocks or so, when I try what little housework I can do 30-45 min and I could enter my feet in the boiled lobster contest, I wear 2 size larger shoes than before the accident, I have to wear leggings all the time to keep my sensitivity down, I'm actually up to showering twice a week and getting dressed 3-4 days a week which is more hours than I sleep at night, which is about 2 1/2-3, I can't sleep in my own bed, I can't sit on the floor with my grandchildren, the slugs on my sidewalk beat me to the curb because my walking speed is slim to nil, I only wear shoes when required by law, I can't wear nylons(ok, i'm old enough that we did wear nylons all the time, besides even wearing a short skirt would just draw attention to the fact that my legs are purple, oh, let me count the ways that every thing I do every day is determined by the condition/attitude/size of my ankles/feet. Due to my short-term memory loss issues, I'm pretty sure I've forgotten at least a half a dozen things that inhibit my activities I did before the accident.

I am grateful that my application was accepted, I am overwhelmed with sadness because I did qualify.

I know everyone here understands that, but a couple of people seem to think I've won a prize and should celebrate. I am grateful to God that I am alive to enjoy the husband, children, and ten grandchildren and all my friends who help me, but the 1289 dollars a month does not give me back even a portion of the quality of life I had sixteen months ago when a gentleman in a hurry thought he could disregard the road sign that gave me the right away. No amt can reimburse me for the depression and anxiety that cannot be measured.

I'm an optimistic, upbeat, love life, the glass is half full, we can always find something positive to say, but I don't feel like celebrating that I will never be able to go back to a job I loved. I am relieved that the Dr who examined me could "see" my pain.

I try to start my day by counting my blessings, and today I will add the fact that I have an income now that I can again care for my husband.

Sorry, if this sounds like a rant, the ability to come here to neurotalk has been an important part of my adjustment to my new limited, but full life. Sorry, I gotta hurry off, I have six games of words w/friends going on and I'm in desperate need of a pot of tea!

Thank you all for you friendship, support, encouragement but especially for the validation that was no where else to be found. Finding this site is worth celebrating! Thank you Lord for leading me here.

my heart is full of gratitude for all I have,
I pray you all have a day where you see God's beauty,
GramE