Hi Cgirl, I'm sorry you're going through this right now. It is a time of very mixed emotions. It can be like going from total exhilaration one day to sadness the next. I think a lot of it depends on the inlaws and the closeness of your past relationship. I have come to the conclusion myself, that blood is indeed thicker than water, but for a while I had been fooled to think it wasn't. Not everyone loses contact with their inlaws after a divorce. I actually wish I'd lost contact with mine sooner than I did.

It sounds as if you're very close to them and that they care about you very much as well. Divorce is a very stressful time and it's a little like grief after losing a loved one... one tends to go through many different stages and every individual goes through them at different times.

There'll be times when it may not be very easy to have close contact with them, but it is possible. I always found some big events like xmas very difficult, but because I had small children at the time, I felt it was important to be there, even if it was really difficult for me. As time went on, the children would just go to those things with their father, and I stopped going altogether. Some years later I spent more time with certain members of my ex-husband's family but stopped not too long ago. I don't know if you have children or not, so that might be totally irrelevant.

Separation and divorce are a real process of their own. It's hard. Actually it's really, really hard, but it can be absolutely worthwhile if that's the right decision. Don't burn your bridges though. If your in-laws are supportive and some can be very supportive, then just take it day by day or month by month and see how it all turns out. Remember, it'll feel just as difficult for them for a long while as it will for you, but I know of a lot of divorced people who were able to get past any sadness and / or animosity and become pretty good friends. I think the trick is for you to make sure you have some support systems in place. I didn't have any family of my own ... like brothers or sisters or mum or dad, so that made it very difficult.

It can help also to get some counselling during this difficult time if it becomes too difficult or overwhelming or lonely. For now, just try to take care of yourself, and try not to think about things that "might" happen or might not happen. Concentrate on yourself and keeping well and strong while you go through this time.