jouxson, Welcome aboard! there are alot of great people here who give advice and information on their personal experiences. Although I do not have much advice, it sounds like you are very anxious aside from depression. Maybe an anxiety medication would help. i take both antidepressants & anxiety med's. I am not familiar with the condition you speak of, but maybe staring with the anxiety (if you have it) could calm you down a bit and help you think slower and clearer. Your post sounds like you are "feeling trapped" with trust issues, symptoms and doctors...that can lead to panic/anxiety in no time. Please take a deep breath and check this forum and other links here for information, experiences and know that you are not alone!!