"We find a place for what we lose," wrote Sigmund Freud to Ludwig Binswanger after the death of his friend's son. "Although we know that after such a loss the acute stage of mourning will subside, we also know that we shall remian inconsolable and will never find a substitute. No matter what may fill the gap, even if it be filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else."

Some say survivors never recover from a suicide. "Life is back to normal, but normal is different now," says a man whose son hanged himself. "Normal will never be the normal it was before a year ago." A man whose teenage daughter killed herself two years ago says it helps him to think of his grief as a physical handicap: "Some people can't see, some people can't walk, and I can't seem to enjoy life," he says matter-of-factly. Says Tom Welch, "We never really essentially get over anything. We resolve it in such a way that we can go on."

The Enigma of Suicide by George Howe Colt

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