no i haven't but i haven' tbeen on top of things didnt help parents computer crashed and having inside paintedd.... been busy at home as well, i got one resume to a professor ... she gave copies to her friends lol i dunno...

thank you. i will try. i have finally stopped obsessing. i hope the query i left running didn't get stuck, and that my boss just decides there was no 'damage' and lets me continue....... i am trying to think up uneventful scenarios.... sigh, you know, to contrast the many ugly ones which have bombarded me.

it is a relief that my mood is not so jagged any more i really was out of familiar ground. not that things are great now, but i was having spells with language turning jibberish and total mood lability.

and it's not real depression, or i'd be depressed at home - i'm not. i'm worn out, especially mentally and worried, but i'd say that is pretty normal given my situation. i'm more ruminative than most... that's less normal. i am always having to work on that.
i was thinking about that, i mean it's not like i am a slave and i should be thankful and use my power to choose. but in the balance is the whole "having a job" bit, and with lots of gaps at your shoulders it looks really bad.

'if you choose not to decide you still have made a choice' - Rush

~ waves ~