Dear Ada
thank you for sharing your world with us. much of what you said i feel and have gone through. i use to think i wasnt depressed. but my body keep changing for the worse and maybe its becoming more than i can handle. i dont like the antidepressants either, i have been on and off them over the years. recently i had been taking st johns wort which was doing fine. not so good right now. i am mostly bed ridden and my hubby takes care of me 24/7. i dont have any answers, i just wanted you to know you arent alone, you arent crazy and this disease does go up and down with out emotions.
it doesnt make sense to me. i dont know what i am feeling sometimes.
i saw you mentioned having a hip operation, i dont know what your issues are, but having surgery with rsd was a nihtmare for me. when i had gallbladder sugery i didnt know i had rsd and i was in excruciating pain, my tissues felt like they were buring, i started to swell and havent stopped swelling. oh i also had another surgery to remove the swollen tissue which made life even more hell and i kept swelling more and now i have 80lbs of swelling on my abdomen. so please think of all your options before your hip surgery. i will never have surgery again unless its to save my life.
im sorry to tell you my bad experience, but i just thought you should know my experience before you go forward with yours.
hugs
Lori
Quote:
Originally Posted by dreambeliever128
I've got plenty to be grateful for. 2 grandson's, one graduated early in January and is living with me due to my daughter and her husband moving to far away for him to finish. My youngest grandson just got promoted from Sophmore to Junior and my May month is busy with 3 graduations, a wedding and a play and my sister coming up to visit. I have a lot of good friends, not lacking in that department at all. I hear from someone around here everyday.
I also have 3 good friends from Ky. here in Co. and we talk often so I'm not alone.
As far as councellors, been there, done that. I am not one for taking pills. Prozac and Zoloft made me more suicidal so I had to go off of them years ago tried others that I either couldn't take or did nothing for me.
My PCP is there for me day or night if I need to talk and he does listen, it's just that sometimes he needs to step back and think what to do for me next. We are waiting for my PT to end to see how that does for me. He doesn't want me to have to go through a hip replacement. When I go back in, he will have a new ideal. He has actually got me involved in volenteering at a Nursing home. He introduced me to one of my Ky friends and I help her some with her business when I'm bored. We talked for an hour yesterday but as I told him, in the past 2 months my health as gotten worse so that has brought my depression on more.
I think with my kids moving away which they are only about a 2 hour drive and my oldest graduating and getting ready to go off to college with his girlfriend, that is most likely adding to it. My youngest comes down on weekends to stay so I'm not missing out on seeing him. He is doing the Scarecrow in the Wizard of Oz in May so I will be up there for some time.
My life is full but my condition drives me nuts. My CFS is kicking my but due to warmer weather,
I have 6 brothers and sisters that live in Ky. but call me often. They get worried if they don't hear from me.
So you see my life IS full, my mind is depressed. LOL
Everyday is a challenge to keep myself going lately. My Nurse is having lunch with me here soon. I'm friends with all 4 of them so I have good care, but depression doesn't care what is going on in your life, good or bad, it's there when it wants to be.
Thanks for the help.
Ada
|