Sitting here getting ready to go somewhere in an hour or so, playing the same tired old record in my mind: where do I want the balance between painting myself as a pathetic invalid, and pretending I'm "normal"?

I know the only right answers are "it's nobody's business, you don't owe people an explanation, whatever feels right to you".

But I've struggled with this issue since before I was officially diagnosed. Just when I think I know where I stand, the circumstances are just a little different and I'm not sure anymore.

I've simply GOT to learn, or re-learn, how to say simply, "sorry, I'm not able to" or "thanks for asking, but not this time" or whatever.

I need to STOP feeling that my only two choices are to smile and say "of COURSE I'll help with the picnic/supper/pageant" or else "you don't understand, I can barely get my OWN meals."




*I do NOT think invalids are "pathetic", by the way.