Something has pushed me into a much worse place. Just to take a moment and includde some good news. Some new aparmtment Options have been found. I may get a 2 bedroom tho was told that that wasnt possible in 08.

2 weeks ago I had the fluids and tried to have the next 50K vit D2 dose. I had skipped the vit D2 for a week as body was doing worse and has been getting worse since the changes in parathyroid and recent changes in medication meaning 3 new ones.

As of this last vit D2 my body did a big shift. It now is holding fluids big time and not peeing much. Opposite of usual. Also since this began 2 weeks ago my weakness has gotten so much worse. I dont think I have been this week since just out of hospital in 08. Now as of this past week I cant even talke my hydrocodone normally. It makes the extreme dryness with much worse. I cant drink enough to compensate and as of lst 2 nites tho I drink tons all day I am waking about every 2 hours so so severely dry I have to get up and push fluids and and get some salt in me which for some reason helps.

I have Sjogrens but this goes far far beyond normal. I callled the Gastro doc I am referred to this past week only to discover a very differnt attidue. They had lost my file from 6 years ago. I wonder if it was found and this new nurse is projecting something. She wanted records implying that I could get in sooner than teh May 25 date I was given. When I called back and left a message that relevant ones could be sent just send the hosp a letter head she went all negative and suspicsiuos and said no. She wants a blanket release. Fat chance. I have been burned by that in a big way. And she is now satying that the records wont hurry the appointment up I will just have to go to ER. She is an idiot. With complex health I feel most of us know the ER can be a useless trip but I am scared enough and pretty trapped by my symptoms into needing help now. With my last 2 meds the mestinon and hydro now even a problem I have to do something. I had 2 bags of fluids Friday and I sure wouldnt know that know as severely dry and weak I am. It did tho give me just enough minor , temporary relief to go to my daughter and grandsons birthday party.

I have dissociated to some degree so I can go forward, to go to that party and act less scared and sick so I can put a face on for the kids, for my kids. I dont like being so much worse I go numb.

I talked to my daughter about going to ER today. I am way down to half the hydrocodone and barely any mestinon cause of the worse I get from any meds now. I cant wait more than a day or 2 and this doesnt put my daughter in a spot of missing work.

Annie59