...Im in a bad place A.G.A.I.N.... and again, and again.... until when ?? why ?? what for ??

I was coping with living pretty good if you ask me... I had very very bad/dark days during 2010, but I survived... I wasnt taking anything...

Now, Im on prozac again... crying all day... hating my life again... feeling extremely lonely again... asking God everynight why wouldnt he give me a family... I swear I have love to give... I love my friends, I love my mom, some relatives, I loved my dog... I WANT A FAMILY... Im almost 30... I want babies... a man... CANT GOD UNDERSTAND THAT ??

I work so hard all week at the lab, and all my frustrations or triumphs I dont have anybody to share them with.... I mean, I do... my mother, who doesnt give a ****, is not my age... my dad doesnt care and I dont even bother telling him my things...

If my feelings wasnt enough creepy, my doggie passed away 15 days ago... just a reminder of how lonely I am...

Im once again in the what for ? why ? mood... I hate to wake up... I feel sad all the time...

Im tired of praying... Im tired of my feelings, of this solitude...

How I wish I was a nasty rock without feelings.