I had problems with the short fuse for years, actually decades. I had the position that I was entitled to be upset as an expression of my ideas. This is not the good thinking.

Now, I know that my short fuse can become uncontrollable. As a result of the serious acceptance of this, I now have chosen to be proactive to avoid those situations. There are places where there is no tolerance what-so-ever for a short fuse. I accept that and take responsibility for it.

Let me tell you an experience I had.
I was in line at the security check point at the airport. I had put my stuff on the conveyor. There was a TSA Agent telling me and everyone to put their shoes in the bin and on the conveyor. There was a different agent yelling instructions from the other side of the walk through scanner. I finally responded loudly, "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?"

Quickly, the police officer came and pulled me aside. He started yelling in my face and his rookie sidekick tried to interject, too. They were both shouting over my attempt to respond. Finally, I realized they were not listening to me. I pulled myself together and, in a low voice, got in the police officer's face and quietly said, "If you are trying to de-escalate the situation, why don't you lower your voice?"

He stood back and stopped. He realized that I was right. He shut up his sidekick and let me explain what happened. I realized that I can regain control of myself and others should too.

Now, I have "practiced responses" to when I feel like I am going to explode. They have to be practiced, at least in your head, so you can use them when the stress gets too high. One also needs to be ready to accept the help of others.

Think of it as needing to work at lengthening the fuse. Over time, the fuse can get so long that you have time to remove yourself from the situation or grab control of your thoughts and take a different path.

I work in the nursery at church every third week or so. I have become known as the baby whisperer. I can tell when I need to take a break although I do not worry about it in the nursery. There is a scripture verse I use that makes as much impact on my daily life as "Be still....." It is the commandment to "Take every though captive." This means we need to make choices about how or if we let our thought get out of control.

It takes serious self-analysis and introspection but it is possible. It also requires that your family be on the same page as you. The ability to be out in public with control starts with developing these skills at home. It would be worthwhile to work with your family and friends. They need to accept that you are different and you may never recover to the old you.

An example of how family needs to change would parallel the family of someone who lost their eyesight. All of a sudden, the stuff left on the floor is a serious problem as is moving furniture or putting something back where it does not belong. These changes should be considered reasonable family accommodations.

For the PCS person, a less chaotic home with a more consistent schedule will be a great help. Screaming is problematic to the PCS subject even though it may have been tolerated before. All of the accommodations are not just a burden. Most will actually be a blessing to the family and friends. Many do not know how to enjoy each others company without the adrenaline based excitement.

If any of you think the changes are not possible, I can prove you dead wrong. My wife works in a private school with high standards for decorum. New students come in and for the first few days struggle to be disciplined. They may be bouncing off the walls with undisciplined behavior.

But,,,,,, Within a short time, they have settled into the routine and discipline that is expected. Even 3 and 4 year olds can make this transition. When they do, their world opens up as they become able to fully participate in life and learning. The key is consistency. When everyone does it, the occasional out of control person can easily regain control.

So, YES, It is likely that we will never return to our old self. But, that is not a problem if we learn to make the best of the new self. Attending a brain injury support group as a family can help. When we see others families adapt to the brain injured person, we begin to believe that we can too.

Personally, I have undergone may of these negative changes to my personality, starting when I was 10 years old. It took me decades to learn to take personal responsibility for my changes in behavior. If I had understood then what I know now, I would have been able to avoid lots of potholes.

Remember this axiom. An idiot never learns from his own mistakes. A smart person does learn from his own mistakes. A WISE person learns from others mistakes. Us it to take control of your thoughts. It is possible.

My best to you all.

btw, I still struggle with this but am doing much better. It's nice to not constantly be a jerk.