Hi Melanie,
Sorry to hear about the mess you are going through. Unfortunately, I've been in the same boat since this mess all began 6 years ago too. I've had home health aides in previous years but due to a fall in ICU at Hahnemann (their fault) it left me completely bedridden. I had to have my son pick me up and carry me to bathroom and back again. I could not care for myself at all. Horrible time so I am there with you. I live in PA. What we have to go through in an unbearable amount of pain is beyond me. How can you read or fill out any paperwork when you cannot even lift a pen to sign anything? I am single and have had no one to help me. I had PT, OT, and an aid that came pretty much right away and looked at my condition and about cried. They could not do a thing until I could tolerate any movement so I had to get my pain under control (yeah right). I had been in the ICU 7 days, another hospital stay for 3 days, and 4 ER visits all in a month so needless to say I could not do anything to care for me. I only ate whatever I could keep next to my bed in order to survive. Never want to do that again and pray God will take me in my sleep so I don't have to suffer when the times comes. One great ER doctor realized my situation and got me a hospital social worker in the ER. They came to my house in about two weeks and filed paperwork to get me another state social worker. More paperwork. I was carried to my family doctor in the beginning and was able to get my family doctor to notify the state that I was unable to care for myself. They wanted me to go into a nursing home (at 47). At that point it sounded great to me. Each county and state has their rules and companies that sometimes offer services and thankfully PA has one. It took me over two weeks of reviewing paperwork and signing up and after 4 1/2 months I was able to get a home health aid five days a week (took six months for me to get a good person...some steal from you and others just don't want to work...great system we have here). After being by myself for years with no help and barely surviving on my own I had to readjust to having someone here. I am still in bed trying to get out of it and the person is standing next to the bed while I am in agony. Who wants someone staring at you or waiting to be told what to do while you are crying in pain and don't want anyone around?? It is really hard but we are finally getting it together after 1 1/2 months now. I can tell you it will take time and lots of paperwork and all you want to get is help. But hang in there and keep pushing them when you are able to do so. I would start at your family doctor since he would be the one to start the ball rolling and knows you the best. My fam doc is very efficient and of course I waited four weeks when state said they never received a thing from my doc so all had to be resent. It prob sat on someones desk. I cannot imagine going through all this when you are 80-90 years old and have no one else to help you (like my situation). That is why I pray I die before then so I don't have to go through the pain and all the suffering and THEN state stuff. Oh, and if you own your home you will be in worse shape than ever. PA says when you turn 55 they will start adding up all you owe them and take it from your home and/or your life ins. Amazing stuff. It will all be in my book someday;.) BEst of luck to you.
kathy d