Quote:
Originally Posted by Alffe
"Guilt is what we feel when we focus our anger where it doesn't belong -on ourselves"
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yes i do feel guilty, and angry, and stupid.. couldn't have made it any easier, short of just shooting him myself.. they are a very specific bullet, not for target shooting or hunting or anything, maybe if i had asked who he was planning to shoot? why he had a gun? (parole), if if if if if if.. a thousand questions I will never get an answer to.. a thousand things that lined up and lead to this... if I never bought them, if he never came over, if we weren't in the basement, if i were a better brother, if if if.. so yes, i am angry at myself, both for letting this happen and being in a position where joining him would **** up other people and make me a statistic.. what a deal, huh? couldn't have put myself in a more messed up position if I tried, idk.. so tempting, yet if i do, i will make someone else hurt.. tempting yet selfish, idk.. maybe i will get lucky and wreck or get cancer or something nice... some nice "normal" thing that people will understand..