Eight days now that I have gotten up late, yesterday it was 2 pm when I first opened my eyes. I am divorced but still live with my wife. Can't seem to make up my mind I guess. 8 days since I've felt okay with my life, far more than that since I've seen a smile, felt a hug, I don't know what else, far more than 8 since we've been intimate, way too far to remember. She says I'm not there for her emotionally-she wants help working out to lose weight. Her at 295+ and me with PD that's kinda hard to do. I'm not there sexually- I admit I need some help from a little pill but that is out of the question for her. On and on we have gone for some 25 years. Eventually, you figure out that the cat isn't going to give you puppies ya know! I just don't know what to do. We are at a cross roads again and it is going to cost us BIG TIME. My oldest daughter just started college this spring, we have been making her car payment. The youngest is looking at getting started. Last time this happened we were so angry with each other that we got separate apartments, nearly lost our house to foreclosure. We got back together and saved the house and now everyone has a safe roof over but at what cost. I told my "wife" that when we were going through this the last time that I had gone out to the garage and tied an extension cord around an overhead truss, made a noose and all that was left to do was kick the bucket out from under my feet but I couldn't. Her reply was that it wasn't her fault. That was as a result of a quarrel I had with my youngest daughter amongst other things. I simply would like her to acknowledge the fact that "I'm sorry you ever felt that way." She never has even if she did not intend to hurt me just to state that is not admiting a crime. She wont ever do it-one thing I have NEVER heard from her-"Hey Jim,let's hug and put this behind us." NEVER. It would be a conviction of wrong doing for her. An admission of guilt. I have always come back over to her side, at times when there have been some things I have wanted from her-yet we have made up and then when it is 2-3 months down the road we're arguing over the same thing it will hit me-stupid, you agreed to make up and she never agreed to anything! I know that the bottom line is that at this point we are deep into a codependant relationship. I don't know what to do. The State took my drivers license, says my medical condition is too bad to drive. We gave up our truck when Paige started college to afford her car payment. I wake up when I do, sit on the couch, watch tv, go outside with the dogs, go to bed about 8-9 after taking clonapin so I will sleep. Don't have places to go, people to see. I guess it's 8 days now.