Jim,

I was where you are a year and a half ago. My ex is an engineer. Any chance your wife is an engineer?!

We were married 26 years when my husband asked for a divorce. If he hadn't done it, I would still be in that abusive relationship.

In those 26 years I NEVER heard the word "sorry". Everything was MY fault and if I'd just straighten out, everything would be okay. Yeah. Right. The day that I was diagnosed with Parkinson's my husband had the audacity to say, "Well you finally got the diagnosis that you wanted".

I was forced to live with my brother and his family for a year and am now in an Assisted Living facility. It was the best thing that could have happened to me.

Let me tell you my philosophy. I use to say I had four things that kept me going ... my family, my health, my faith and my sense of humor. Since that time I have reassessed the situation and learned that I can get by on two things .. my faith and my sense of humor. My family is on the bubble with two of my four kids angry at me for the divorce ... and my health, well, that is precarious as well. BUT no one ... not my best friend or my worst enemy can touch my sense of humor or my faith. The way I figure it is that I can always mend family relations .... but I can't get back my health if I don't take care of it now.

I don't let ANYTHING come between me and my Parkinson's.

What I'm trying to say is this ... you can't get back your health and stress only exasperates the situation. If you're in an abusive and/or loveless relationship, you need to get out. Even if you have to temporarily move in with someone. In essence your life depends on it.

Also be sure to seek a doctor for anti depressants. It took my at least three months to admit that I was depressed, and when I finally admitted it to my general practitioner, he was surprised but supportive. PD, alone, can cause depression and your home life makes in unbearable.

Oh, and I'm not sure what insurance you have, but after the divorce I was put on COBRA for three years.

If you need someone to talk to, feel free to IM me. That's what we're here for. Know that you're not alone.