Our long time good friend that has not been on the forum recently, Mark Jordan often shared this.

Control you TOS before it controls you.
The less pain you have the easier to do that. The more pain the larger the loss of control.

When the body fails the mind has to take over, the mind can go on for so long and them it gives out too, soon all you have to run on is soul power...
How long is your soul power going to run for you, Hope.

I had a great psych that treated chronic pain patients that lost their lifestyle, and motivation to live to their diseases and syndromes.

We can get it back...Hope I am not sure how to tell you to gain your life back, but little steps, one day at a time. My first step was actually doing genealogy, then some scrap booking. It was something small.

I also joined a local committee that was working towards a recreational center and community efforts.
I became a part of something. It is tough sometimes to just get dressed and be a part of something, but actually the more you push yourself to do something for your self, others, it makes the pain lessen.

Also, a great pain management doctor, with good idea of what your situation is.
I would recommend a total clean out of meds too and get a restart, because, sometimes the antidepressants can actually have an adverse effect/. My daughter had a heck of problems on Effexor, cymbalta, and ssri's. On effexor she actually was psychotic with three voices or more telling her to do things. Then on Paxil and prozac she got depressed, so depressed but to stay in bed all day and whine and insomnia, days and nights mixed up.

I would find an expert doctor for evaluation of meds. One of the best in our area is a neurologist/psychiatrist specialty in pain management.
Intuition and natural instinct to your body and listening to hear what others that love you are saying can contribute something they see and you don't. If they are objective, some family members or friends don't have that.

As sad as I am I can not fall into a depressed oblivion....I am so sad though I have to cry, tears just come, I am actually off work for a month to get myself together. As much as I try to hold it together it is affecting me.

My prayers are with you,
Di
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/chronic-pain/PN00048

Reclaiming your life in spite of chronic pain
Complete relief from chronic pain may not be possible — but a full life certainly is. Establish your health care team and set goals to help you take back your life.
If you have a condition such as a broken bone, you recognize discomfort as a symptom and trust that treatment will help. After surgery, pain medication provides relief while your body heals. Chronic pain is different.

Sometimes chronic pain follows an illness or an injury that appears to have healed. In other cases, chronic pain develops for no apparent reason. Whatever the cause, the emotional fallout of chronic pain can make you hurt even more. Anxiety or depression can magnify unpleasant sensations, and disrupted sleep may leave you feeling fatigued and helpless.

But chronic pain doesn't have to rule your life. Here's how to take control.

Find the right care
If you've been going from doctor to doctor seeking relief, it's time to make a decision. You may choose a family physician, a specialist with expertise in your underlying condition, a pain management specialist or several doctors to work together.

When selecting a doctor, look for someone who:

Understands chronic pain
Wants to help
Listens well
Helps you feel at ease
Encourages you to ask questions
Allows you to disagree
Is willing to talk with your loved ones
Has a positive attitude
If you work with several doctors, make sure all of them have access to your medical records. Inform each doctor of the pain medication you're taking, who's prescribing it and what, if any, additional drugs you take for other reasons. Once your pain is under control, your primary doctor can provide ongoing prescriptions for pain medication.

Identify the obstacles
Chronic pain can dominate your thoughts. To shift your focus, identify an obstacle that prevents you from taking a step toward feeling better. Set reasonable, attainable goals to help you move past the obstacle and go on to the next challenge.

Consider these examples:

You don't take your medication as prescribed. You often take extra doses of pain medication at night because you've forgotten to take a scheduled dose during the day or you need pain medication to help you sleep. Start by asking your doctor about changing your dosing schedule or otherwise simplifying your regimen. Perhaps your doctor has other suggestions to improve your sleep. Then set a goal of taking your medication exactly as prescribed for two weeks. Make it your next goal to stick to the schedule for two more weeks, then for four weeks, and so on.

You don't do your exercises. Your doctor says a simple set of daily exercises will help your back pain. You're embarrassed to admit it, but you've never been able to complete the exercises without getting short of breath. Rather than burdening yourself with guilt, come clean with your doctor. Although it might take a while to notice improvement, exercises for back pain should not leave you breathless. If they do, your doctor can help you find out why and take care of the problem.
Break harmful patterns

Many other habits and thought patterns can contribute to a constant struggle with pain. To become informed about your condition, for example, you may spend hours monitoring pain-related publications and Internet newsgroups. This may keep you focused on what's wrong — when you could be finding ways to build on all the things that are still right.

Other harmful patterns may include:

Avoiding normal activities
Sleeping irregularly, such as napping in the evening and staying awake most of the night
Eating unhealthy foods
Ignoring signs of depression or other mental health conditions
Using pain medication to treat other problems, such as stress or frustration
Focusing on blame, litigation or other negative thoughts
Engaging in unhealthy relationships that prevent rehabilitation
Smoking
Drinking alcohol
Using recreational drugs
What next? You guessed it. Set reasonable, attainable goals to fight each harmful pattern. One by one, reaching each goal can give you power over chronic pain.

Take back your life
You don't deserve chronic pain, but it's there. You can let the pain disrupt your career and damage your relationships. Or you can learn new ways to keep the pain in check so that you can enjoy a full life.

Changing established behavior patterns isn't easy. No habit yields to will without a struggle. But your persistence can help you gain control. Look to friends, loved ones and your doctor for support while you put chronic pain in its place.


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