Dear Wildrose,
I do sympathize with what you and your daughter are going through. You have something to deal over and above the usual trials and tribulations of teenagers and their parents.
Naturally you want the very best for your daughter. You want her to be the greatest in sport, top of the class, graduate with honors etc., just like every other parent wants for their children. However, when you look back on a life, some hardships and difficulties can be overcome. Children may have to cope with many difficulties, which consume their lives with worry at the time, and also the lives of their parents. Maybe they will look back on some of these things and they won't seem so important when they have grown up themselves.
Brain damage, however, is in a different category altogether. This is something that could ruin the rest of someone's life.
This is such an important factor that it trumps any other problem. Trying to read between the lines, I am hoping that your daughter's medical condition is improving and that one of the reasons for stopping taking medication is that she doesn't need it as much.
You have to take the long-term view, especially as a parent. A teenager won't be thinking of what life will be like at 25 - that would just seem unimaginably old. But the really important thing is that she should have a "normal" life, with all its difficulties and not a life in which she is always held back by a disability. So, whatever course of action you and your daughter might consider, just don't do anything that is going to risk not getting better as quickly as possible. That is far more important than graduating, the prom, or calculus. What percentage of high school graduates go on to use their calculus? Not many and, in any case, you can always learn what you need later on in life, provided that your brain is OK.
You can't do anything about the fact that your daughter had an brain injury that wasn't at first treated seriously. You can't do anything about the fact that she ran a half marathon soon afterwards and went on playing soccer. Those decisions were disatrous but they are in the past. You just have to make sure that everything is done to help your daughter on the road to recovery. I am hoping that she is travelling along that road. When her biggest problem is worrying about fitting into her prom dress then you will know that she is just another normal teenager again.
I hope that you both will one day look back on this time and put PCS in the past.
Best of luck.
Concussed Scientist
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wildrose55
Morning all,
for anyone who's read my previous threads, my daughter 17 y/o has been diagnosed with PCS and has just recently returned to school after a month long house arrest.
She is in her graduation year and is totally stressed about the amount of work she is behind and the subsequent tests she is needing to take to catch up.
The school/teachers have been awesome but she is not wanting preferential treatment. She doesn't want to just be given the marks so she can graduate and wants to earn them. If she doesn't earn them, she doesn't want to graduate....can you say PERFECTIONIST!
She doesn't like to be the centre of attention (unless its sports related of course) and has been having a hard time when complete strangers come up to her and ask how her head is. The gym teacher is using her as an example but has gotten the facts wrong and that is also making her angry etc.,
She isn't able to remember things she did in grade 10 and pre-cal is a total nightmare for her. She has been working with the teacher during spares and just doesn't get it. In Manitoba, there is a provincial math exam that counts as part of your total mark and the teacher after seeing her after the first day of one on one coaching, realized that there is no way she will pass it and is putting in a medical exemption request.
Last night is the first time she broke down in two months. She has been denying what has happened to her and now its coming to a head and is totally stressed and weepy.
She has stopped taking her meds...t3's and the pill she was supposed to take at night to help her sleep. She said her headaches don't require the t3's and she doesn't want to be a zombie.
HELP!?? she has decided that even if they graduate her, she wants to redo her three courses in a different highschool come September - refuses to go to the one she's in now - too embarrasing.
I'm at a loss - I have no idea how to help other than listen and try and be supportive.
I am ready to lose it here...I'm weepy at times and very down.
She has been basically told by one of the teachers (gym teacher) that they are probably going to graduate her due to her circumstances.
Thanks for listening.
Joan
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