I'm trying so hard to manage, so hard to accept but it's a lot harder than I thought. I just wanted a "magic pill" to make it all go away. All the meds and changes and ups and downs is really exhausting. Why she hurt me so is she said this is your life and you have to learn to deal with it or else I can't help you. So I stopped all my meds and "thought" I didn't need you. Big mistake. I need her and I need the meds.

I slept very little again, I know I'm hypo and need to come down fast. I'm tired of thinking, tired of being tired.

I found an ebook called "The Art of Roller-Coaster Riding". I always loved roller-coasters but now I despise them.

But I must go to work and get through the day somehow, put on a happy face. I have an appt tomorrow with my pdoc to go over my meds, maybe change, maybe increase. And on and on it goes.