ok, please I dont want to talk christian vs jewish vs muslim vs pagan, I just want to know some regional differences in churches.

Example # 1

When I lived in the south, (southern baptist) if I said "gee, im not feeling my best. Im really struggling to keep up to the housework, and kids, and DH is making me crazy! he needs to start our garden, but isnt motivated because he is worried about me." Witin a week I would have a gang of church sisters at my door. Freezer meals in hand, and cleaning cloths flying in the wind screaming "move aside you need help and we are here." The husbands would be behind them to capture my DH and drag him out to the garden to get it popping. Its embarrassing to start with but after it happens a few times you either learn to say Im fine, no worries, or get used to having help.

Example #2

now that I am in NEw England I am confused. I have been to no less than 6 churches now. No one seems interested in helping each other. When a little old lady said she hasnt been eating because she cant stand long enough to cook for herself, they called social services on her instead of going to her home and trying to help her find ways to do it. Or meals on wheels or having the congregation drop off meals. Adopt her so to speak. Another woman had major surgery and it was dicey, but she lived. I went to visit after 10 days at home. I said "you must be overwhelmed with visitors, yes?" and her reply was "nah, youre the first." HUH?! Im confused I said. She went on to tell me that New England girls do it differently. They are not up in your face helping you unless you scream out and say "come help me" and you have to be specific. "come help me vacuum" or "come help me shop" you cant expect others to come carry your burden.

So, tell me. how is it at YOUR church? When you find someone who says to the congregation "I was dx with a brain tumor, MS and im struggling. DH is sad, and the housework is a struggle. I just dont know what to do." What does YOUR congregation do with such folks?

ignore her
Pray for her
Go help her
Tell the pastor, its his job to help her.
Call and ask what she needs
say that poor thing and get on with YOUR day?

I guess I am home sick for the southern way. I miss being in a community and not just a neighborhood. Everyone keeps telling me "its the Yankee way." well, im so far not impressed. I am horrified when I see so many lost and wandering and no one seems to care that they left the flock. The pastor says "they know where home is, they will come back when they get hungry or scared.

It really broke my heart this week to know an elder didnt receive ONE visit. not one! she sat all alone unable to feed herself, unable to toilet herself and when someone finally went to visit her she was sitting in her own soil and confused from being so dehydrated. what have we become?