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Originally Posted by californiafriend
Just reading your responses brought tears to my eyes because it makes me feel not so alone. The fear and anxiety that this has caused has made me contemplate suicide daily (although since its against my religion i dont think i would) Im really scared and what scares me even more is i dont have family members or friends that would really help me if i needed it, my husband is pretty "worldly" and i dont think he would stay very long with me if i had it being that he is still young and would want a "normal" life and family, which is another fear that ill be without...im only 26 and i know this sounds awful but i wouldnt want to live for the next possible 70 years waking up everyday wondering whether i would be able to see/speak/walk/move/cognatively function that day...how would i live? how would i work? especially without any help...Im so scared guys you all are so positive that i hate to be a damper or talk so negatively and morbid but ive never really been one to accept things and try to make the best of it even though im trying to..I got more blood tests results back that said my rhematoid was high and i had a sllight above normal ANA which tells me that its probably autoimmune and after searching thru every autoimmune disease out there none of my symptoms fit any criteria except for MS...thanks for all your prayers and concerns and for allowing me to vent on here and to share my fears, you all are so beautiful for caring so much about the people on here and showing support
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You sound just like I did when I was at this stage of trying to get a diagnosis.
DON'T PANIC! I was diagnosed in 2002 and am still walking, talking and doing most things fairly normal. If you get a diagnosis that puts so much fear in you that you contemplate suicide, go see a councilor. Its the first thing I did and I think it really help get my thoughts in order. I also had everyone around me ready to "bail" and they have not. Read the last part of my signature about worrying........its priceless. I used to lock myself in the bathroom and take a bubble bath and cry my eyes out.....then one day I stopped crying and realized all I had to do was take it one day at a time.