Quote:
Originally Posted by jeffburns
hello all.i get a little depressed at night some times when i have had a bad day.i try to think that it could be worse,and some people have more pain than me,but it does not help.i need to change my life some how.i am the fire chief her in town it is all volentier,and i realy enjoye it but it is getting so very hard to do the job but yet,i do not want to give it up.i do not no what to do.i am sorry if i bring you all down but this is the one place i feel i can talk.i think the stress of only working two hours per day,and the money troubles make my pain worse.well,thank you for beaing hear for me it really does help to talk,thank you.
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Dear Jeff,
I think all of us can relate to the backslash of having RSD or any chronic condition. You kind of rally to get better hope and pray that it will all go back to normal then you hit the stage of s..., this is for life.
I remember the day I had to make the decision to file a permant disability application it was devastating. I just could not believe that I was not going to have my career make good of money, I would of lost it all in the recession anyway, and how where we going to live the lifestyle we built. I have been together with my husband since 1980 it was 31 years this past March. I have 2 children, when I go hurt they where 9 and 12, now 17 and 20. My children where both involved in many activities, music and sports which my husband and I encouraged and it all cost money. We have a house and all the responsibilities that come with that. But 8 years later we are still in the same house, I did get my disability and work PT doing the same thing I used to do just on a very different scale and the money problems are there but we work it out the best we can. My children I think have actually become very responsible I think seeing what I went through made them realize things aren't always rosie and made them more mature and better young adults, really. They have had to help and pick up the slack in many ways. I forgot to mention my husband has had 2 back surgeries in the same time period so yah its been fun.
I can only control what I can control. I do the best I can. I used to get so freaked out over the fact that things are not same but I had to find a way to stop. At the end of the day Jeff, I can't do,spend,have all I want but I did find a way to make life as normal as possible. I read you are a Chief in a fire Department. What a great honor for you. I have always admired firemen, what type of bravery do you have to have to go inside a burning builiding, its so giving of yourself.
Sorry I'm rambling. Try and keep positive. It's a struggle for me everyday also so your not alone.
Gabbycakes