Pain, the killer of life in the chronic sufferer. That which saps the very essence of participative longing from one and tends to isolate...... Pain. Yes, it imprisons and takes away, bit by bit the life enjoyment we have known.... well, in part. The pain sufferer need be neither one gender or the other, as the partner in life will sense the tension pain produces in seeking control of the very inner person, sealing doom to those it can trap. It was for this reason, and this alone, that I started the Blessings thread, for I have long wrestled with pain and have become utterly hateful toward it. I am the enemy of pain.

You notice I speak of myself as being the enemy of pain. Why? Because in this way, I am looking at that which robbed me of bits of my life willingly and determined, NO MORE. Rather like that of Gandalf in the Tolkein trilogy shouting to the Balrog "YOU SHALL NOT PASS." So, I took another look at pain in my life. If I claim pain is my enemy, I am yielding to its power over me. If, rather, I claim to be the enemy of pain I am accepting POWER in my life to FIGHT for that which is mine, and fight hard. Therefore I AM THE ENEMY OF PAIN.

Oh, so simplistic, one might argue, but if I am taking ownership of my life, then I will take EVERY aspect of the pain issue and restyle its discussion in the wake of the words I AM THE ENEMY OF PAIN. Applied to Jenna's VERY timely and appropriate topic, I can approach Cleo with each aspect of our shared lives and address positively that which I CAN AND WILL DO. I master pain, it does not master me. I can hold hands with my wife. I can hug my wife. I can kiss my wife. I can take her for special times just the two of us enjoy, knowing that in the doing of it, whether it is to ride as she loves in the country to see beauty here and there, or to lay side by side talking, laughing, touching, or holding, I am mastering pain and respecting that one human in my life who is more important than any other. Truly, there are THINGS I cannot do purely due to physical limitation which were formerly parts oif my life. I can no longer lift 300 lbs., gyrate with abandon whether skiing or something else, but there is a safe limit to my physical involvements which bring a smile to my dear wife's face which is so precious that I love to behold it.

Seek out those safe limits in your own life, and you will thrive in the release blessing others brings to you "although you will continue to suffer some pain." Think back to the paperwork any of us had to execute prior to an implant surgery, and each will recall that no representative, whether manufacturer or medical, will promise ALL pain will be abated or that life restorative pleasures are absolutely within our grasp. BUT, we may take tiny steps to pleasure and fulfillment, perhaps expanding on them so as to bring joy to ourselves AND to others. For Rae, it is magically pulling a whatzit out of her magical left pocket, for me it is in the doing of some simple little thing which affirms to others they are valued. No, I can no longer ski. I may not hunt in the wilds with backpack and rifle and my knowledge of the environs to guide me. I may not be the envy of the dancefloor as I step, swing, and swirl Cleo as before, but I do know I can do some of it with her. She becomes my cane, the steadier of my body since I no longer feel below my knees. We can still do a bit of swing, waltz, foxtrot, although the other steps will let me fall to the floor.

Eat an apple one small bite at a time and soon its core is revealed inclusive of life giving seeds for more to come: push it into your mouth all at once and whomever tries such an exercise is bound to choke and die. Intimacy? No relationship thrives without the smallest of steps which can bring pleasure to each partner respecting limits which might exacerbate pain.

Explore. Respond to the needs of the love of your life. Let them know you have limits and the limits must be respected. Give and enjoy, for in the giving, beauty is fulfilled, joy is experienced, and the bond is ever strengthened.

Another Hero of my life, especially since my body is no longer the picture of strength it once was, is Joni Erickson Tada. She was a great athlete injured in the blossoming of life. Her life became MUCH for limited, and yet, in the limitation, she bloomed to the boundless joy of giving in ways that are fulfilling despite body limits. Discover your gifting of others in joy. Then you may be posting more on the Blessings Thread.

Sorry, not writing a book here,
Cleo says sometimes I run off at the mouth [or the keys],
She is right,

Mark56