hannah: its good to know someone out there my age understands, even though im sorry your going through this like me...I was very upset last night writing that, and my husband looked at me and told me he wished he could take my pain and have it himself so i wouldnt have to go through it, and all i could say was I wouldnt wish this on anyone.. I have the same feelings as you..I can go days being in a happy mood, even with the pain, and then if im alone for a while, ill start thinking of all the bad things, and i get super depressed...i never used to be depressed, i was a very happy person who would listen to everyone else's problems and try to make them happy...now im the one sad, and cant really get support..i mean, yes my family and friends try to make me happy, but like i said before, they really dont understand what im going through...i guess i need to just look at the positive, that they are trying to help!