Wow... I'm looking back at this... and know I didn't read it then....

why... ? I'm not going to do it but if I look back in my journal I'll likely see I was going through something and didn't have the energy it took to absorb what is written here...

I'm continually questioning why I recreate chaos in my home... why do I allow areas to become disgusting? ... usually only a week or two - and in that time, NO ONE is allowed to visit... then... I clean it up (yep, you got it - someone is coming!)... usually on the day they are coming....

sitting right now... with my 1st cup of coffee cold... TV muted (The View - those ladies yell too much but I do enjoy it... reading/thinking on internet does not come easy when I don't turn them off!)...

watching the time creep by.... with lots of do...

and knowing there will be a wonderful sense of reward when its done - I have such difficulty with the timing... most people call it procrastination...
I call it overwhelming

I wish Xie were here right now.
I'll admit that its perhaps for selfish reasons.... but I think I could learn lots from you Xie ...

acceptance is huge... I accept a lot about myself right now

I really miss Moi and Mistis ... and love it when David has the energy to be here...

xo Alffeeeeee... you keep bumping up the good ones