Oh god, why am I so weepy? My surgeon says it's very very early days but is pleased that the stimulation is reaching the area needed .. ie. left leg. But it's also reaching my right leg and in between my legs .. (which if it did the trick .. weh heyyy .. but it doesn't) .. it's uncomfortable.

I came with only the one programme. I probably should have asked more questions but I was actually quite shocked at the size of the operative sites and bruising and I was sat there, wide eyed, saying nothing. It's only now I have questions.

I think it's only just hitting in what a big thing I've been through .. trying to stay positive for Mum after Arthur's death and thinking of this almost like an instant thing, but it's not.

I can't have my stim on so I have the old pain, plus the stitches and bruising.

I tried walking with the stim turned up to ease the sciatic pain in my leg, but ended up walking like Forrest Gump !

Did everyone's stim work right away for their pain and in only the place it was supposed to .. as in my case, my left leg? Or did some of you have it going all over the place?

I am back at the Pain Clinic on 20th June and I hope to hear from my Nurse, Donna, who is being trained to use the tweaking machine, tomorrow. It just seems such a long way away for me not to be turning the machine on? Plus, I am unable to do any of the exercises they showed me in physio because I can't switch the damn stim on.

Frustrated and weepy .. but still smiling .. a bit. x