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Member
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Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 292
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Member
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 292
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Hello there
Hi,
Thanks to everyone for such thoughtful responses.
Idealist, we do sound similar. I'm sorry to hear about your injured friend but sounds like it was a big help to have him around.
I had psychiatric and psychological treatment for 2 years but due to non-payment by work comp, they could no longer see me. It was just as well. They talked a lot about themselves. One even asked me to pray for him and his sons. He said I was one in a million, no one in 5 million. I knew what he meant. I was a chronic pain patient who wasn't depressed, but he never wrote that because he wanted to get paid...and believed every chronic pain patient is in need of councel. They changed my appointments from every 2 wks to every month, then every 6 weeks.
Julie,
I tried zoloft but had to d/c because of side effects.
My psych meds for the past year are trazodone and welbtrin.
I wrote before that I might try to wean...well that didn't go well. It lasted 4-5 days.
I cut the trazodone in 1/2 and then welbutrin down to once/day. I am now in the middle of
being so irritable I can't stand to be around myself. I've alienated a few good friends. I'm back on my meds now but more sure than ever my depression shows up as being irritable.
My husband has been so understanding and listens to me so well. Not judgemental.
The reason I didn't eat had to do with the pain putting the spoon to my mouth. Once at a friends house for dinner, she had to feed me. Once I went out to lunch with a friend and she had to feed me. My arms wouldn't move, let alone the pain I would have felt if I did move them.
I'm now trying to walk around the house for as long as I can. I sit outside in the warm sun and read.
Ada,
Yes I got the PM. I have your email so I answered you, but don't know if you got it.
Your illnesses are a full time job. I'm sorry for the ongoing pain of losing Bill. I know I'll be
that way too as I was faced with that 2 years ago.
Your story of fighting SS was so unnecessary. Couldn't they put the pieces of the puzzle together? You have so many things wrong you can't catch up enough to even have surgery
when you need it. I got mine easily, no going to court.
Your PCP is a keeper. So is my pain mgmt doctor.
I have no family around (I have my husband and you have your daughter and 2 grandsons).
You sure have a large family of step children!
If I had one thing to be depressed about it is not being able to see my grandchildren. Now that brings me to tears everytime I think of it. They are growing up across the country and I see
them 5-6 days a year. We talk on the phone a little, I send care packages to them.
I want to thank you for telling me about writing to the gov, senators, pres, and vice-pres.
I'll never know for sure, but a week after emailing the gov, I got a resonse to send my letter to him. I enclosed some pictures of my arm and they were not pretty. They looked sickening with purple colors and shiney skin with open wounds. 3 months after my letter to the governor I got
a letter that it was sent to the Dept of Industrial Relations. Two wks after that I got 3 checks for
my travel expenses from work comp for year 2002 - 2006. No change in my emotions, I still felt numb. Then a week later I got a drug coverage card. I have 3 pharmacies who turned me away since 2002. I owe one pharmacy over $100,000 and the other two are not too far behind. I'm on
my fourth and now W.Comp decided to pay. The only way you can tell something is wrong with me is I hold my arms against my chest and don't move my hands except for the tremors. Visually they are gross, atrophied, dried up thin skin and blue. Also I limp from weak leg muscles the feeling of walking on red hot coals.
I am one of those people who can't get medical care. It's been denied for 4.5 years, but now we
seem to be having a breakthrough. There is so many thousands of dollars on liens. These people must really trust my doctor to allow this to go on and believe I will win in the end.
Like you I never give up. With the care my doctor has ordered, and at least a few PT sessions, pool therapy I can do on my own, once the pain is controlled l know I can improve and get the elbow contractions to release.
Hi Di,
"Control you TOS before it controls you.The less pain you have the easier to do that. The more pain the larger the loss of control." That is why the doctor ordered the intrathecal morphine pump 2 years ago, He knows & tells me that when I get that and better pain control I will be able to do therapy and greatly imporved. I'm sure I'll return to driving.
I've been running on soul power and faith for a long time. I've always believed I will get a lot better once I'm allowed treatment. I've had to forgive work comp, the judge, my lawyer, the WComp doctors who didn't tell the truth and wrote false reports.
I have friends who take me to Bible study one morning a week and occasional conferences. I try to avoid crowds that may bump into me. I'm going to my 3rd movie in 5 years this week. They take such good care of my body and my mind. Cook meals, visit, take me to doctor appiontments. Best of all they don't give advice or orders to rest, eat, do this or do that. They don't treat me with pity like some do.
I will get my life back & that will be when I get pain control. When I don't have to wake up at night to turn over or wake my husband to change soaking wet sheets. I look forward to cooking my honey a special treat, to doing laundry and being able to hold my grandchildren. They are so afraid they will hurt me. I can't use my arms now, my doctor has said in his reports that I'm a functional quadraplegic. I do volunteer for projects at church. I have a voice recognition and am helping my pastor write a book, He wrote the best selling Purpose Driven Life so imagine how hard that is. It makes me feel useful. My kids give me projects I can do to help them. Research stuff. They are very supportive - long distance. When my daughter vacations, she and hubby come here and we go away for a week. It may only be 15 - 45 miles away, but it is a nice resort and they love to care for me doing whatever I'm not capable of. Soon I hope to find and get an approval for a good Psych doctor. That way I can take what will make me feel the best I can. Until then my doctor has ordered home health 5 days/week but it was denied.
You and Ada make me know how blessed I am - not physically - but so far I've lost my mom since this started. I was able to sit and sleep by her some of the time but wasn't able to be there when she died. I was a hospice nurse for 10 years. I have a lot of letters of appreciation from people and their families. I also did a lot of pain management for patients who were & were not terminal. Thanks for your input DiMarie. You and your family are in my prayers as is Ada and everyone on these forums.
Hi Jo,
That is an excellent point. I've always had an interest in and studied nutrition. Since I've been home from work I've take 90 CEU credits to keep up my RN license. 60 units/hours were on nutrition.
I got lab work in the mail today and I'm severely anemic. I am vegan and need to add meat to my diet. The black, etc beans did not do the job.. I have never cared for meat...but will now. I use whey protein drinks and take supplements recommended by my PCP who is into natural medicine. I talk to her nutritionist. She uses detox machines which I stopped due to no way to get there and they made no difference. Rec's "Perfect Food". Labs were perfect except all the red blood count stuff. I haven't been "ill" in years. No colds, never a flu.
Recent ear infection from impacted wax I didn't know I even had. The tumor thing is just another way to get me to go to another doctor. He didn't even do an xray.
Cgirl,
Thanks for the support. You are so right. No one can do it for me. They try and it annoys me. I'm an adult and even my psych was impressed with how I handle this. Once Psych IME said I was the worst pain patient he had seen in his 25 yrs of practice...a month later a Work Comp IME said there is nothing wrong with me mentally and I could return to work with all these restrictions and a different med that would never had been recommended if nothing was wrong with me - Cymbalta for burning nerve pain and depression. Thanks for believing in me and agreeing that it is my happiness is my responsibility as well as me being in control of my own happiness. I don't want others telling me how to run my life as if they know how I feel physically.
I better get out of here now. Wanted to express my thanks to you all.
Thanks, Hope
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