I have cried and cried and cried. you know what? im done crying. I cant help her. She wont let me. the only way I can help her is to declare her insane, and she isnt, she is just mean.

So...im done. Ty for all the love and support. I wanted so badly to have a momma in my life, and have been chasing her for decades to be one. It isnt gonna happen.

Last words were Im not gonna love you , just cause you think I should. Love is earned, not given. When you start acting like a child I can love, then you will be loved like a child who is deserving. OUCH! hows that for a nail in the coffin ??

Night mom. I hope you are well cared for in the remainder of your life. I cant do it anymore. Im sorry, but im not strong enough. Who ever said God doesnt give us more than we can handle is full of carpe.