Hi, I am new to all this. I am 32, married and have a 2 year old boy and am 6 months pregnant with a little girl. I work part-time at home doing data entry. I have suffered from joint and muscle pain for over 3 years now. Yesterday, I woke up with the worst pain under my left cheek and decided that I needed to do something, reach out to other people who might understand me and who won't judge me for needing to vent. I have never written in any forums though goodness knows that I've read other peoples posts in order not to feel so alone in my struggle. I'm going to just put it all out there and I hope someone will hear me. I have so much pain and anger that I don't know what to do with it. I have had nothing but bad doctor experiences. They run the same old tests over and over and nothing but inflamation comes back positive. After that, I get bounced to the next one but not without the dissmissive glances or the chronic fatigue discussion. I feel so discarded by the medical community and I am pretty sure that being slightly overweight and female may have something to do with the way that doctors treat me. I always thought that if you had a problem, you go to the doctor, they run some tests, you find out what it was and then they treat you. It never occured to me that being diagnosed could be almost as painful as the illness you have. I have had outwardly hostile doctors challenging me as if I were seeking attention or drugs or something. I have come to dread meeting with doctors. I have to wear my toughest exterior yet I have to be carefull not to appear defensive just in case they might possibly, just possibly by the grace of all that is good, be the doctor that can help me. I really do feel like I am being driven insane by all of this. It's enough to want to give up all together and that option isn't possible since I have a family, but goodness knows I have thought about that on many occasions as well. Sorry for the rant, but really, thank you for listening, sometimes I really don't know what to do and I am afraid for myself and my family. Typing this out helps.