peg,

i'm sorry. i also can relate. i saw my 86 y/o aunt wilter away. my own, i believe, made the choice to give up and withdraw from life at 80. it was then that she started having some real physical problems.

tell your mom every day that you love her and what she has meant to you.

i don't want to take away from your emotional pain but, does she have a will?
does she have any papers that state her financial and medical power of attorney? does she have a living will? if she doesn't things will be so difficult.
if you can get her to think about these documents whatever comes next weil be so much easier, on both of you.

God bless you and your "mom". please keep in touch with us.